10 February 2017

Donald Trump is like the Taliban

Donald Trump at the Presidential debate with finger puppets on his fingers.
During the Presidential debates, Donald Trump was secretly fed information by his finger puppets, Momo and Oinky.

I recently had a dream in which Donald Trump came to my house for my birthday lunch.

He walked through the door and handed me a big red envelope that looked like it had been previously ripped open in a million different ways and then stuck back together in a slipshod manner with weak-ass sticky tape.

The whole damn thing was falling apart. (His aide said Trump wrapped it himself.) He had signed the front of envelope.

16 January 2017

Walter White spotted drinking tereré in Paraguay



I met Walter White in Paraguay before he became Heisenberg, the world-famous producer of blue meth. He had a stall selling corn and spices in a small market in Ciudad del Este, the second largest city in Paraguay. This is possibly where he learnt the ins and outs of commerce.

29 November 2016

Opera Australia performs Wagner’s epic Ring Cycle

[First published on The Plus Ones


Strap in for an epic opera experience. Opera Australia’s momentous production of Wagner’s Ring Cycle is a sequence of four works, each one a marvel of music, performance, direction, and artistic design. It offers sixteen hours of powerful storytelling through music, and leaves you wanting more.

7 October 2016

Mr Moon Face in Melbourne


Luna Park in Melbourne is one of Australia oldest amusement parks. It opened on 13th December 1912 and has almost continuously been operating ever since (it closed during World War I).

10 September 2016

Terschelling: Home of the Best Summer Festival in the Netherlands


Terschelling is an island in the northern Netherlands with a population of around 4,700. Every June the island is transformed into a huge theatre for the Oerol Festival. Over 55,000 people visit the island in those ten days to watch theatre and musical performances, modern art and visual and artists.

27 July 2016

The legend of Sleeping Beauty in the Gardens of Fitzroy


Once upon a time in the Gardens of Fitzroy, the dainty princess Sleeping Beauty slumbered with the possums in the long grass. She had fallen into a deep sleep after biting an apple, which was poisoned with ethanol and amphetamines.

Thankfully, her loyal friend Edmundo was there to keep watch over her. Edmundo covered Beauty with branches and leaves and flowers, hiding her from the vicious creatures that lurked in the shadows of the Building of Exhibitions.

Shhh... if you listen carefully, you can hear her in the video below, talking in her deep slumber...

18 June 2016

See penguins in St Kilda for FREE


Every night, a bunch of cute Little Penguins (Eudyptula minor) swim into the harbour at St Kilda, Melbourne. If you go to St Kilda Pier at sunset you can see them swim and waddle to their nests among the rocks of the breakwater.

26 April 2016

Cocks, cops and communists in China

Cockhead. I actually ate this thing and then learnt it was only included in the dish for decorative purposes. Lame.

I recently went to China for a writing residency. The time was split between Yangshuo and Guangzhou, both in the south-east of the country. Here are a few photos and observations from the trip.


20 February 2016

How to survive White Night in Melbourne

 

Every year a bunch of cities around the whole hold an all-night arts festival, called White Night. The festival first started in Saint Petersburg, Russia.

3 February 2016

The Crazy Birds of Iguazu Falls


There are many species of birds living around the Iguazu Falls, but when you're on the Argentinian side, standing in "La Garganta del Diablo" lookout ("the Devil's Throat"), you'll see hundreds of little dark-coloured birds flying in and out of the monstrous waterfall. They are Great Dusky Swifts.