I bumped into the Australian ambassador whilst I was living in Buenos Aires. It was the third time our paths had crossed. It seems we shared the came Chiropractor and while I was outside the office looking in my map for direction the Ambassador came out as well.
He stood there for a few moments as he retrieved his mobile phone from his pocket. I said, "Hello." He ignored me - completely.
I said, "Mr. Ambassador!" Again he ignored me and then, through his peripheral vision, realised that I was stood there speaking to him, awaiting a response. His head leveled to zero degrees but his eyes avoided me, and he gently raised a hand and waved it side-to-side, saying, "Uh, no," as if I was asking him for money, or to buy something.
I smirked at his judgement and assumptions. But I also stood there waiting for his enlightenment to come to fruition. He's eyed finally followed the direction of his head and - with the neurons in his occipital lobe working fastidiously - familiarity shook hands with realization. "Ah... it's you," he said, and walked over to shake my hand.
I said,"You thought I was a homeless person, didn't you?"
"No, no," he responded. "I was just lost in thought wondering how I'm going to get home."
We shared no more than 2 minutes of completely empty conversation - namely because although his mouth was moving and he was speaking and asking questions, he was completely disinterested in the answers that followed. He was simply asking the required number of questions to be considered polite and social. He is a diplomat, after all.
Whilst we spoke I looked deep into his eyes for a connection. His eyes, on the other hand, were looking from side-to-side and in all directions except at me. He was simply trying to get past this unpleasant experience and I felt he was just going through what was necessary to get from point A to point B - where point B happens to be far away from me.
And when he calculated that an appropriate number of words had been exchanged in this formulaic interaction, he interrupted thought and false pleasantries with an abrupt, "Well good luck with everything," and extended a hand to finalise the transaction of interaction. And although we were going in the same direction, his path slowed and diverged.
It's my opinion that he made his judgements about me the moment that he sensed my form in his peripheral vision. It's true: I probably don't look like a well-educated or cultured person; my clothes - what little I possess on this journey - are few and old and dirty; I dress casual with sandals; my hair is long and messy, and has been been unbrushed for 12 months; and I am unshaven. It is no doubt that this is a contrast to his well-dressed, well-groomed tastes.
So we return to a familiar topic: judgement. It always amuses me when people judge me for my appearance. They see my vehicle and make assumptions about the soul inside.
But it is only a vehicle.
Now I laugh when this happens. I think it's funny, or at the least humorous.
The physical manifestation of my unique DNA is only something to look at whilst people interact with the spirit within. It is not important.
It is okay when people judge my soul, spirit and mind by my appearance, though I choose not to pass my time with people who rigidly judge my appearance and not the light within.
I was exposed to this a lot through my childhood. The standards of the norm were forced upon me in order to conform to expectation. "What will people think?" I was often rhetorically asked, regarding how I chose to present my vehicle.
It took me a very long time to break from those shackles of programmed thinking to realise: IT DOES NOT MATTER what you look like. NOBODY has the right to judge you. EVERY spirit and soul is beautiful, no matter what clothes, make-up, growths, deformities, sizes or colours they express in their physicality.
If anybody does judge you, do not be mad or angry or frustrated. Simply understand that they have not yet had this realisation yet. But they are still a beautiful soul.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Related Posts
- fifty fifty
- The Universal Declaration of Human Rights
- Angels, unite
9 comments:
Your a filthy animal!!
haha... roar! :D
Hi Ara if the whole world thinks like you do, then you won't have a problem. would you buy a suit because it fits you or because it looks nice on you, it's always been the first impression, and before you make judgment unto other put yourself in thier shoes, your the ambassadore and someone like you have described yourself comes to visit him, you wont even get past the front door let alone see him, it's not about what you're wearing it's how your wearing and presentation that's the starting point. You can be rocket scientist and if you're are presenting yourself in the manner you described that shows you have no respect to yourself and you don't care that also proves you have no respect to others you don't care. always remember how you look is THE STARTING POINT
otherwise we have to go back to stone age,take care Vrej amo
hi amo, thanks for your comment.
If people are going to judge me by the way I look, that's okay, but I don't want to be around those people. I prefer to spend my time with the people that can accept me for who I am and not what I look like. I believe that first impression is the test... if someone accepts you and loves you no matter how your physical being is presented then you have found a true connection. These are the people with whom I choose to spend my quality time.
I have respect for all people, and of course myself. Though I prioritise my soul over my superficial appearance. Unfortunately people have been programmed to respond to things with look nice and appealing. I think this is very, very sad. These people are missing out on SO much real and TRUE beauty in life. Real beauty lies within.
Remember the expression, "Don't judge a book by it's cover."
Ara, I remember what I read once in an article about the first impression.
It was written by some anthropologist or psychologist... I don't remember anymore.
Mother nature made the physical appearance as a easy way to recognize the healthy good mating specimen from the sick ones. So my dear Ara, even if I know that you are taking care of your appearance only for your little socio-experiment, I must tell you that you give the signals: I am unhealthy, I don;t have good genes, I am not a good choice to mate and to have offsprings with, so please avoid me! :))
You cannot change mother nature and the unwritten laws of attractiveness for survival purposes.
Conclusion: the ambassador didn't want to have offsprings with you :p Kidding!
I love you as you are Ara, but, seriously, EAT!
Oh I think he definitely wanted me ;)
Thanks Andreea. I love you the way you are too... psychopathic! hehe :P (just kidding)
When we first met, I decided to become your friend because I thought you were good-looking, and because Sevag told me you were rich. If that makes me shallow, then...give me a hundred dollars and a little kiss?
Good points all, I reckon. Think I'm somewhere in the middle, really. I guess a lot of these thoughts are about rationalising our thoughts and behaviours, understanding ourselves and others; so that we're not offended when others seem to judge. So a lot of it is about our own journey, away from ego. I remember that, after I attended the Art of Living course in Madrid, it was as if I were truly meeting people's eyes for the first time since childhood. I wasn't thinking about myself, or what they might be thinking of ME; I was simply looking. And so much of the work we did was on learning to divest oneself of the ego (with, of course, varying degrees of success!), looking on another with love and goodwill and trust and simple curiosity, as a child, or a domesticated animal, would.
But!: clearly, in the city, you can't go around seeing everyone with the eyes of a child, unless you fancy getting your wallet stolen, or your "special purpose" touched. It's not just about biological programming, it's about societal conventions too! And societal conventions, wrongly sometimes, tell us that if someone is unkempt, or smells bad (I think you smell great, by the way), or behaves differently from the majority -- for example, by NOT avoiding eye contact with relative strangers (at least until the skittish horse has been whispered for a while!) -- then this can signal that a person is a threat in some way to our way of life. It's all interesting to me. A good modern parable, which I feel embodies many of these points we're making, is the excellent film "Coming To America", available at your local library. Seriously, though.
Miss you Brosephine! x
Oh, and clearly the ambassador thought you were more akin to Samuel L. Jackson's "Hold-Up Man" character, than to Prince Akeem. :)
You have really good points, Sam.
I get you about the rationalizing so we don't get hurt. And maybe that is part of it. But I believe that I have evolved a lot over the last year - and I am still evolving incredible through this journey - and whereas it may be seen as a self-protective mechanism, I am at that point in my life where I prefer to spend my quality to with the people who accept me for who I am, and not what my 'who' looks like. Don't worry, I'll make an exception for you though, Sam ;)
I think I have moved very far away from ego. I still catch myself expressing ego from time to time - old habits die hard - but when I do I soon recognize my negative behavior and reflect and learn from it.
I think it's irrelevant where you are. Sure one will be judged more in some places compared to others - like in cities - but being judged only matters if you have a problem with what other people think about you. I'm moving away from that. If you have internal peace, the external doesn't become so important - this is a really wonderful Buddhist principle, i.e. don't let your external environment affect your internal environment.
Most of the time I look like a terrorist and I think people's reaction to that is funny. Like the time I went around Barcelona with half a beard - it was emotionally draining but in the end of the day you find and connect with people who are truly kind spirits. I love this.
I do make sure I don't smell though ;)
Miss you and love you too, brother.
Post a Comment