The wedding was great. After eating, and watching the pair have their snaps taken with all 900 guests, the wedding ceremony finally started at 1.30a.m. Only a close congregation of about 50 people stayed for this and huddled around a mini bonfire under a tent outdoors. After promising their endless love, devotion and all other relevant crap to each other, the groom painted the brides hair-part red, and together they did seven victory laps around the bonfire. Following the ceremony, the priest sat down infont of me. He asked whether I am married. No. He asked whether I have a girlfriend. No. He asked whether I would like to live with him in the foothills of the Himalayas. Tough one, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to say NO!!! He then proceeded to rub my right thigh tenderly and told me I'm a good man, as he gave dirty looks to any females sitting around me. I politely thanked him for his homosexual gestures of kindness and backed my unpenetrated ass away from him. Although, not before he gave a coconut and a hug. Just what I needed at 5a.m.
I returned to Delhi on Monday with 4 days to kill before flying to Kathmandu to start my 3-week trek up to Everest base-camp. So I'm currently on a whirl-wind tour of the Rajastani desert. Last night I spent 20 hours within the shit-smelling foulness in the sleeper class of a train (equivalent to 4th class), but at least I got to lie down, and I think the 10 year old boy sitting opposite was hitting on me. But I WAS looking damn sexy.
Arriving in Jaisalmer, the sandstone desert town, I quickly booked a camel safari and left within the hour. My guide was a 10 year old boy named Neenu. He works 7 days a week and get paid 15 rupees every 30 days (about 20 pence a month). Due to his malignant poverty, he's compelled to eat daal and chipatis every freakin day (basically lentils and bread). And WHEN they have enough money he can have some mixed veg. He hates daal. NO SHIT!!! Due to an obvious shortage of teachers, he goes to school for 10 days and then has 20 days off."Big problem", he said to me. He's the oldest of 2 brothers and 3 sisters and lives in a clay village, pop. 15 (incest is best). And so I think it goes without saying that he was hitting on me. I'm starting to see a trend here.
The safari was great. I realised the only way to hold yourself onto the camel is by squeezing hard with your thighs. I was afraid I might arouse the camel but my livelihood was at stake. I dismounted after an hour with a permanent bow in my legs and a permanent hump in my ass. I watched the sunset, had some chai tea, and double-paced it back on Papu the camel in pitch black. I gave Neenu 100 rupees for his "services" during the safari (yes, he was sitting behind me), and insisted he keep it for himself rather than giving it to his boss... as most child labor is forced to do. I gave his boss firm instruction that this 7 month bonus was for him only, but I still doubt he will keep. I only hope that he's eating mixed veg tonight.
Thanks all for your comments. Sev and Josie... you play nice now children.
2 comments:
Hey couz,
nice to hear that you can not escape the rat race of homosexuality!!! maybe it's the dalai lamas way of speaking truth to you!!! in the only way he knows how.. spiritually of course hehehe
after all one is chasing the spiritual dream right??
Anyway good to hear your still having fun and staying safe.. Just keep it real and stay hetro!!
I would write something witty and relevant... but I can't think of anything. Be sure to wear an 'exit only' sign on your ass. Unless you have been propositioned by males in other countries, I think that it may just be how Indians express their gratitude. I could be wrong however... but judging by the volume of India's population, I am sure that its indienous homosexual population would be quite miniscule in comparison. Trust you to find India's only 3 practising homosexuals.
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